Mary Schaub
Greetings, gentle warriors. How are you doing? I'm feeling a lot better than I was the last time we chatted. I was getting pretty stressed out by the world back then. So much so that I ended up doing a show on three mindset shifts to deal with overwhelming feelings. And at the end of that show, I asked you guys how you cope with overwhelming feelings. Today, I'm gonna read your responses.
Before I do, I wanna give a shout out to Portugal. Last week, I took a long weekend and I stayed in the beautiful city of Lisbon. It was my first time back on the continent since COVID and the before times. I don't know about you, but for me, COVID resulted in me losing some of my travel muscles, if you know what I mean. Definitely a period of retraction and bunkering down, right?
So even the desire to travel atrophied a bit, but we need to push ourselves sometimes. And I was eager to get back to Europe, which I love. I love Europe for so many reasons, so much love. Okay, so I flew over on a Thursday night, red eye. I definitely want to say that the folks in the JFK Delta One Lounge are crushing it. I had to stop, I didn't have to. I felt compelled to stop.
people multiple times and just express to them how awesome they were. And I mean, this happens to me never. Anyone who listened to my first podcast, Business Psychos, might've noticed that I have some pretty high expectations about service. And my 30-year career in transformation and organizational excellence sort of resulted in me being incapable of not experiencing the world through that lens. And what I've come to learn
is that people who do service exceptionally are both skilled operators and artists. It is extremely difficult to do it and do it well. And the folks over there running JFK's Delta Lounge, they are exceptional and really responsible for my trip starting out on such a positive note. I can't imagine what it's like working in service these days.
Everyone's walking around with frayed nerves, very crabby, very defensive. So whenever I see someone making an effort, maybe even going out of their way, I make an extra effort to show appreciation, to remind them how special they are. It sounds corny, it sounds dumb, but you know, a little kindness goes a long way. And it's contagious too.
just as all the vitriol and anger and rage out there is contagious, so is kindness. So, you know, I recommend giving it a try. Be nice to people for no other reason than because you can. Don't expect anything from it. And then observe how much lighter and joyful you end up feeling. Lisbon?
Okay, and onto Lisbon for a second. The weather wasn't good and I knew it was gonna rain, so I just embraced it. There's nothing you can do when you go on vacation and the weather sucks, but I gave myself permission to drink great coffee and the food, my God. The place I stayed was right above this little bakery. I kind of gave myself a...
I try to watch carbs when I can, but I let that out the window for this trip. I just wanted to walk around with like a loaf of bread and periodically sit down and drink coffee and wine. I mean, the food in Lisbon, really some of the best I've ever had in my entire life. We went to three great restaurants, links in show description. First Kabuki restaurant, the sushi tasting menu, lots of great Portuguese wine.
Honestly, there wasn't one wine that I tasted that was not amazing. We even went to this grocery store, like little tiny corner bodega place and bought a 10 euro bottle of red wine and it was awesome. Oh, and they had this little machine in there where you could squeeze your own orange juice. I got some of that. Oh my God, it was delicious. Okay. And then the next night we went to the Michelin star, Ristorante Vitoria, Chef Henri Cruz.
who I had the pleasure of spending some time with at the end of the meal, got to see the kitchen where the magic happens. I'm gonna say this and it is not an exaggeration. Probably the best meal of my life or maybe tied with number one. was indescribable. Again, art, food, science, technique, operations, service, so much going on to run a restaurant of this caliber.
It ended up being like a four hour meal. And at the end of it, felt actually grateful for the experience. Okay, back to you. At the end of episode 11, I threw out some questions for you to ponder about yourself and your life. I asked you, how are you coping with overwhelming feelings and whether the strategies you're using are working or not? In today's episode of Protagonist Ponderings, we get to hear from you. So let's go.
First up, an email from Alex and Boise. She or he, I apologize, I'm not actually sure, writes, this is Alex from Boise. When I'm overwhelmed, I retreat, turn off my phone, cancel plans, pull the blinds. I know everyone says isolation is bad, but sometimes I need that cocoon to reset. Does it work? Well, in the moment, yes, long-term, I'm learning it's a delicate balance between necessary solitude and harmful withdrawal.
still figuring it out if I'm honest. Thank you, Alex. Yeah, listen, self-care is very subjective and you know yourself best. A few weeks ago, I did that cocoon thing for one day on a Saturday. I needed to do it. I had reached a level of overwhelm that made me employing any of the strategies I discussed in our last episode impossible.
I knew intellectually that those strategies existed. I knew they worked. I knew they would make me feel better. I knew cocooning would not help me feel better, but that's where I was and that's what I did. And it is what it is. It's okay if you're doing it. I'm hearing all that a lot of people are doing it, to be honest. Listen, these are challenging times and the balance you're referring to is real.
Now, if I cocoon the whole weekend instead of one day, I think that starts to push it, at least for me. It sounds like you're being self-reflective and honest with yourself and monitoring this delicate balance, as you say. And that is smart. And it is self-love. And thank you for sharing. Okay, next is an email from Marissa in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. She writes, hi there, I'm Marissa from Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I've started using what I call my 555 reset. take five deep breaths, list five things I can see right now and stretch for five seconds. It sounds simple, but it snaps me out of that spiraling feeling almost immediately. Before discovering this, I'd push through until I crashed. Now I catch myself before reaching that point. Not perfect, but game changer for my anxiety specifically when I'm at work.
I love this, Marisa. Thank you for sharing these self-regulation tools that leverage the mind-body connection to manage anxiety. What's cool about these is that they work at the root of physiological and neural dysregulation and allow the body to return to an equilibrium. Said another way, these are grounding techniques. These are really important for people
with anxiety, PTSD, and they can be employed at any time to help keep you from really spiraling. So what I'm talking about now is like when you feel that fight or flight feeling in your body, I'm not just talking about being worried, okay? Worried is something, severe anxiety where you actually are feeling overwhelmed in your body, this is when you need these protocols. Because if you're just worried,
you probably have access to other tools that you can use to abate your worries. But if you're extremely anxious, you won't have access to the part of your brain required to use those techniques. So number one, breathing exercises, such as the diaphragmatic breathing or box breathing, help regulate the autonomic nervous system by shifting the body from a sympathetic, which is the fight or flight feeling,
state to a parasympathetic, which is a rest and digest state. So what's this doing for you? It's lowering your heart rate and blood pressure. It's increasing oxygen exchange and reducing physical tension in your body. It's helping activate the vagus nerve, which helps calm your body. Next, the other grounding techniques like focusing on physical sensations.
engaging your five senses, right? Those work similarly by anchoring your attention to the present moment. And this helps to reduce the stress response and prevents your body from remaining in a heightened arousal state or maybe even worse, spiraling and really going out of control. These techniques affect brain activity and neural pathways involved in stress and anxiety. So what's it doing for you?
It's enhancing your rational thinking. It's helping to override that fear response in your brain. It reduces overactivity in the brain fear center. It affects level of serotonin, dopamine, and GABA, all of which contribute to a sense of calm and emotional stability. Great example, Marissa. Thank you so much for sharing. Okay, next we have from the Twin Cities,
Samira from Minneapolis. She writes, hello, I'm Samira from Minneapolis. My overwhelming feelings usually manifest as anger, which I used to bottle up until I'd explode. It usually comes out when I'm drinking, but I don't necessarily need to be drunk. It's like alcohol is a truth serum. Some of my friends think I might have a problem with alcohol, but honestly, sometimes this anger comes out with literally one drink.
Now I keep a rage journal, I love that, where I write the most unfiltered, inappropriate things on my mind that no one sees but me. The physical act of writing seems to help. It's been really insightful for me to go back and reread it later and can laugh at how dramatic I was being. I love this, Samira. I've mentioned on the show before about how important I think it is to keep a journal. I've been keeping one since I was 15.
Handwriting your feelings in particular was really beneficial for mental health. And I'm talking about like usually like a pen, like handwriting. It encourages deeper processing, self-reflection and emotional regulation. And all of those things can potentially lead to a better understanding and management of your emotions. It's also a really great creative outlet too. And while there are lots of apps and digital tools to capture your feelings,
Again, using that pen and handwriting is actually more effective than typing. Researchers have come to learn that it deepens content processing, supports emotional health, and may even fight cognitive decline by improving brain structure and function. Okay, send me an email with your answers. You're also welcome to leave them in the comments, and I'll read some of them on our next show.
Thanks Samira, as well as Alex Marissa for writing in. If you have a question, comment, or just want to say hi, drop me a note at Shobukai_Shift@mschaubadvisory.com Address is in show description, contact details, all that good stuff. Until next time, remember, you are the change you and the world are waiting for.
Kabuki
Kabuki Restaurant
Restaurante Feitoria and Chef Anre Cruz
Restaurante Pastanaga
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Mary Schaub (00:10)
